Am I being simulated by their love affair?

Page 253

"...Matsueda-kun, I saw the video of your performance that day." Yami Maki lowered her head, and Matsueda Jun couldn't see her eyes.

"On the way back, some classmates were talking about your band. Everyone was talking about Songzhi on stage."

"He looks so cool playing the drums, and his eyes are so expressive when he sings..."

“But what they said was too superficial. I know much more than they do.” The girl raised her head, her smile as bright as ever.

"Every note that Songzhi played was very clear, the rhythm was never off, and the muscles in his forearms when he swung the drumsticks were particularly powerful..."

"Matsue's voice is very pure, and she is especially captivating when singing love songs. Although she doesn't seem to care about the audience's gaze, her posture and expressions are always perfect no matter how she's posed..."

"Of course, it's not just the band. Matsue is excellent in other ways too—when I hear people on the bus talking about you, I wish I could tell them all your good qualities."

"So, so I don't want to see such an outstanding student like Matsueda disappear from everyone's sight..."

The sadness in the girl's voice dripped onto the table.

“Matsueda could have been an even more dazzling presence. Matsueda had so many things she liked and cared about, but because of me, they all disappeared, they were all lost…”

"I don't want this kind of future."

"Matsueda-kun, let's break up."

Chapter 447 Yamami Maki Cannot Change

"Matsueda-kun, let's break up."

The girl spoke so softly that Jun Matsueda, sitting opposite her, almost didn't hear it.

He looked at Yamami Maki, but the girl lowered her eyes, avoiding his gaze.

The sound of customers' crisp leather shoes echoed in the aisle next to their seats, followed by the creak of a glass door being pushed open. The wind chimes on the door swayed melodiously, and a waiter carrying a tray passed by the two, leaving behind the clatter of footsteps.

Jun Matsue leaned back in his chair and let out a long sigh.

He had been holding this in for over a month, and now he finally let out a sigh.

"why?"

Yamami Maki's shoulders trembled slightly. "The reason... I just told Matsueda-san."

"We broke up, will my senior be happy?"

The girl shook her head.

Do you think I'll be happy?

"But Matsueda-san... isn't happy either." The girl's voice was a little hoarse.

"The way you sang 'Moment' on stage almost made me cry."

"That's because you weren't in the audience, so I can't be happy. Since you watched the performance video, didn't you hear our lyrics—'I want to keep you by my side'?"

Jun Matsue stirred the macchiato in front of him with a spoon. The delicate white milk foam mixed with the coffee underneath, becoming cloudy and nauseating.

"But I'll only make you less and less like yourself... Matsueda Jun who can't perform, Matsueda Jun who has to report back to the orphanage, Matsueda Jun who has to learn a bunch of boring things..."

"Matsueda-kun, this isn't just about feeling bad for a week or a month; it's about living this kind of life from now on—"

“I already said I did!” Jun Matsue interrupted the girl before she could finish speaking.

The boy's voice inevitably grew louder, easily shattering the quiet conversations in the store, and all eyes turned to the window.

A shop assistant walked up to the young man and said, "Sir, please be careful..."

Jun Matsueda apologized to her, and after the clerk left, he looked at the senior student sitting opposite him.

"Let's go outside and talk."

The wind chimes hanging on the door rang again. The boy, who had only drunk half a cup of caramel macchiato, was left in his seat—he used to finish even the barley tea served to Tomatsu Yuka by himself.

When Matsueda Jun learned at the coffee shop that Yami Maki was going to Kyoto, he ordered an iced latte, while the girl drank a hot latte. From then on, he decided to only drink the same coffee as his senior, even if it only served as a little psychological comfort.

Maki Yami ordered a caramel macchiato this time because she remembered what Tomatsu Yuka had said to her.

The two walked out of the coffee shop. The girl subconsciously reached for Matsueda Jun's hand, but when she tried to pull it back, her right hand was already being held by the boy.

"See, my senior clearly doesn't want to leave me, does she?"

Yamami Maki struggled a little with her small hand, but of course she couldn't break free and had no choice but to let the boy continue to hold her hand.

"I'm sorry, I know you said that in the store just now because you wanted what was best for me."

Jun Matsue stopped with the girl at the traffic light. The crowd at the intersection was like an ant colony, crowded and busy.

"But you can be a little selfish. You can enjoy Matsueda Jun, which is all yours. Isn't that better?"

"You should put your own happiness first..." His tone was full of helplessness.

“Because I like Matsueda-san.” Yami Maki said so matter-of-factly, “Matsueda-san’s happiness is my happiness, and I don’t want to see you continue to do things that make you unhappy.”

Even if we can't be together?

"...even if we can't be together."

Jun Matsue looked up at the gray-blue sky, the sounds of pedestrians' footsteps and vehicles constantly surrounding him.

Let me take you home first.

They entered Shinjuku Station again, passing through crowds of people with different expressions. The clattering sound of trains passing by penetrated the walls, gathered and echoed in the passageway, pressing heavily on the shoulders of the young boy and girl.

Once on the train, the two remained silent throughout the journey, but their hands were still tightly clasped together—this close connection was enough to anchor them firmly in each other's coordinates as they traversed Tokyo's intricate underground network.

Stepping out of Jiyugaoka Station, the compact and complex high-rise buildings suddenly appear low, and the young men and women walk under the low-hanging sky, gradually moving away from the crowds.

"...We clearly like each other, so why did things turn out like this?" Jun Matsueda's tone was more confused than ever before.

“Of course it’s my fault,” Yami Maki said without hesitation.

"Because I am weak, incompetent, and unworthy to be with you."

"Because I couldn't learn to resist, Matsueda was forced to change."

"Because I can't shine myself, I've caused Songzhi to be covered in dust along with me."

"If I could be braver and more determined, I could stand with Matsueda without hesitation."

However, courage, like hardship, is not a necessity on the path of life.

"It's clearly your family's fault!" Jun Matsueda finally couldn't help but say, words he had always kept hidden in his heart.

Why let that corrupt and inflexible family hinder your pursuit of happiness?

The boy's voice faded away into the empty street.

“...Because I’m the daughter of the Yami family.” Yami Maki’s smile was so innocent that it made him feel stupid.

“My parents, sister, and grandfather all live here. I can’t just complain about the bad things about my family when they don’t meet my expectations, and forget the good things they’ve done for me over the past twenty years.”

"So of course Matsueda is not wrong; it was I who gave up my right to pursue happiness."

A glimmer of light once appeared in the girl's lifeless, twilight world, but she chose to close her eyes.

"Does it have to be this way?" Jun Matsue didn't want to give up. "Even if you don't want to change, I can still stay by your side."

Yamami Maki shook her head firmly.

“Matsueda-kun can’t stay by my side forever—your life has its own meaning. Even if you have that thought now, what about a year from now? What about ten years from now? Are you going to tell yourself every time, ‘This is all for my happiness,’ and then ignore your own will?”

Matsueda Jun was somewhat dazed. The reasoning he heard from his senior was actually similar to that of the girl in the apartment yesterday.

Therefore, he could not refute it.

"So breaking up is the best thing..." Yami Maki said, smiling as she shed tears.

"We weren't even in a romantic relationship to begin with..."

Under the rapidly darkening sky, the girl wiped away her tears, the falling teardrops shimmering in the fading light of the setting sun.

"Please, Matsueda-san, put me down and keep moving forward."

Their sun has set.

Chapter 448 Bad Kid

On Saturday morning, October 25th, Miyamura Aya found Mochizuki Haruka at school.

"Sister Yao, how's Chun-ge doing in class these days?"

"Is he not feeling well?"

"Hmm..." Mochizuki Haruka leaned against the railing, the sunlight a little dazzling, and she blinked.

"He broke up with Yami Maki, didn't he?"

"As expected..." The girl sighed deeply, looking at the clear, cloudless sky.

It was the end of the second period in the morning, and the two were talking on the balcony at the end of the third floor, with the noise from the corridor rolling behind them.

"But Songzhi has been behaving quite normally in class these past few days."

"Or rather, it's too normal."

Mochizuki Haruka recalled the boy's smile when facing the crowd in class—a smile that was flawless and impeccable.

"Ah, I guess Chun-ge is putting on an act again." Aya stretched her right hand out from the railing and waved it in the sunlight.

"But when I went to his apartment to visit him the day before yesterday, I found out that Sister Yangshi was no longer there, and Brother Chun's expression was not relaxed at all, with his brows furrowed."

"Hmm." Mochizuki Haruka gave a soft hum, the girl not surprised at all—she knew about it the day Kurusu Yosei moved out of the apartment.

“He hasn’t been going out much during his lunch break these past few days, and when he sees Yami Maki in the corridor, he just nods and greets her casually—doesn’t that mean they’ve broken up?” Her tone carried a hint of excitement.

"Didn't Cai-chan ask him what happened?"

Miyamura Aya sighed, "I asked, but Jun-nii wouldn't answer me, and Yamami-nee-san only said that they broke up, and didn't say anything else."

"Did Yamami Maki say that herself?"

"Ah."

Mochizuki Haruka finally laughed, "They broke up, so what? It just means they were never a good match."

Looking at the curve of the girl's lips, Miyamura Aya hesitated, "Jun-nii isn't someone who gives up so easily, Haruka-neechan, don't be too anxious..."

There are couples who break up and get back together, but they still stay together. Caijiang just wants to figure out the current state of their relationship. If there was a possibility of getting back together, but it was completely broken by someone else's interference, that would be terrible.

"I know." Mochizuki Haruka took out her phone and reported the good news to her aunt.

"Don't worry too much, Cai-chan. No matter what, I will be by his side."

"Songzhi's pain is only temporary. He will understand once he has completely let go."

"In fact, happiness is something he can easily obtain whenever he wants it."

The girl looked up at the sky; the autumn air was crisp and clear, perfect weather for anything.

This Saturday was still a half-day of classes. After the school bell rang, Jun Matsue sat in the classroom for a while longer.

If she went straight out, she might run into her senior in the hallway. Now, when the two meet, they only exchange a greeting—Yamami Maki doesn't want any boy to stop for her.

Rather than meeting in such an awkward and stiff manner, it would be better not to meet at all, but Jun Matsue does not believe that the relationship is over.

The girl's evasive eyes and hurried steps showed that she hadn't let go of herself yet. The problem now was how to win back Yamami Maki's heart.

He made so many choices to embark on this path—he won't easily turn back unless he truly sees the end.

"Isn't Matsue going home?" Mochizuki Haruka stood up from her seat, her handbag swaying in her hand.

Four days have passed since Yamami Maki broke up with him, and both she and Tomatsu Yuka are now fully aware of the truth.

However, neither of them made any rash moves. The girls wanted to see the final coffin lid closed, signaling the death of their relationship.

The boy shook his head. "I have to work this afternoon. I'll go straight to the Literature Museum later."

"..." Mochizuki Haruka glanced at the girl sitting by the door, "Then I'll go home first."

She wanted to go home and consult her aunt, to hear if any relationship counselors had any new advice.

The midday sun was at its brightest, attracting students to leave the school. A dozen minutes later, only Jun Matsue and Yuka Tomatsu remained in the classroom.

The boy picked up his bag and walked out of the classroom through the back door. There were far fewer people in the corridor, and the classroom door of the third-year students was clean and tidy.

He turned around and looked at the girl behind him. "Is Tomatsu also on the afternoon shift?"