Am I being simulated by their love affair?

Page 235

"Although I haven't seen much of it, aren't these kinds of things all made up by people?"

"I thought so too before." The girl nodded, a nostalgic expression on her face. "Until I entered high school and met Matsueda-san not long after."

"I had a dream."

"I won't tell you the specifics of my dream, senior," Tomatsu Yuka said with a bitter smile.

No matter how sweet a dream is, it pales in comparison to reality.

"In short, that's the future after I start dating Songzhi."

"Yuka? Are you serious?" Yamami Maki's tone was tinged with worry.

“I’m serious,” the girl said firmly. “That’s why I suggested going to the orphanage for a benefit performance last year. I already knew that Matsueda was an orphan.”

“Matsueda Jun has a small black mole on his right side. If you don’t believe me, you can go and see for yourself.”

Yamami Maki fell silent; her mind was in a daze.

"Actually, that's not the point. It doesn't matter whether you believe it or not, senior." Tomatsu Yuka waved her hand. "The important thing is that the information I obtained through simulating the future allowed me to quickly get closer to Matsueda-kun."

"However, I was still too hasty. People make mistakes when they are anxious, and I am no exception."

"Do you remember what I said to you on the bus when we attended the Tokyo Metropolitan Conference last year?"

Yamami Maki looked confused. The girl took two steps forward and whispered a reminder to her senior.

“I have made an unforgivable mistake and caused serious harm to Tsunkun.”

"It's my fault that he got suspended from school."

The wind picked up on the shore, and Yamami Maki looked up, her junior's pupils shimmering with the dark undercurrents of water.

"You've probably heard about it, right? Matsueda was suspended from school before."

The girl nodded. At the time, rumors about Jun Matsueda were rampant, and she had certainly heard them.

"I was the one who instigated everyone behind the scenes."

"I was too anxious at the time. I was only thinking about getting Songzhi closer to me and making her more dependent on me, so I used a method that I will regret for the rest of my life."

“How could you do this…” Yami Maki couldn’t help but speak, her tone clearly accusing.

"Yes, how could they do this?" the girl repeated sadly.

"Perhaps it's because I can no longer be as gentle and patient as my senior."

Yamami Maki shut up again.

"So I want to make it up to Matsueda, but our relationship has become distant. I'm already grateful that we can still sit in the same classroom and talk to each other."

"I think I can only atone for my sins in my own way."

A bad feeling rose in Yamami Maki's heart.

"So I decided to bully myself."

"Wait, wait a minute." She interrupted the girl. "Is Yuka talking about what happened in the second semester?"

Tomatsu Tomohana nodded. "It's been exactly a year since last autumn. To be honest, the malice everyone showed was something that was hard to bear..."

"Then why did you hurt yourself?" Yami Maki asked in a trembling voice. "We were all so worried about you back then."

"Because you have to be punished for doing something wrong, that's what I thought at the time." The girl smiled. "Since Matsueda-san didn't want to punish me, then I had to punish myself."

"...Was the Yuka I knew back then this kind of person?"

Yamami Maki was somewhat dazed. She tried to control her beloved with cruel methods, and then hurt herself without any mercy. How did her junior become like this?

"Because I like Tsunkun." The girl's smile remained unchanged.

“It was Chun-kun who gave me a good wake-up call after I did something wrong, but he was still willing to give me a chance. He is so good, of course I will only like him more and more.”

"But... but how can liking someone turn them into this?" Yamami Maki didn't understand.

“One mistake after another, and it's turned out like this.” Tomatsu Yuka’s expression darkened as she said this.

"If the system hadn't appeared in the first place, perhaps things wouldn't have turned out this way."

Yamami Maki began to believe what the girl said—rather than believing that her junior had become like this because she liked someone, she was more willing to believe that there was some supernatural force at work.

The moonlight on the shore became dim and unclear, and Tomatsu Yuka glanced at the time.

"Does my senior think this is my fault?"

The girl did not answer her question.

"I don't really care how things turned out this way anymore—just like I no longer ask myself why I'm not as happy as I used to be."

She stepped forward and grasped Yamami Maki's hands, causing the girl's body to tremble.

"Right now, I only care about Matsueda-kun."

"If my senior thinks I'm not normal, only Matsueda can make me normal."

"So, senior, can you understand? I really can't live without him," Tomatsu Yuka said in a pleading tone.

Looking at the humble-looking girl in front of her, Yamami Maki's mind was already somewhat numb from the continuous shocks.

Before meeting Tomatsu Yuka, she thought she would be the one humbly begging—after all, she had promised to help her juniors with their love troubles, but now she had become the troubles of a young girl herself.

"..." Yamami Maki wanted to let go of the girl's hand, but she didn't dare, nor could she bear to.

"The system keeps telling me that I should try to win over Matsueda. Even if she rejects me, I can't give up."

"If I can't be with Matsueda-san, I really don't know what I'll become..."

The girl finally knelt on the lawn, looking at her with despair and helplessness.

"I'm sorry..." Aside from that, Yamami Maki didn't know what else to say.

Tomatsu Tomori showed her a world that the girl had never experienced before. Yamami Maki was already panicked and even began to regret her decision to meet her junior tonight.

"Senior?" Tomatsu Yuka asked cautiously, her eyes brimming with tears.

Yamami Maki let go of her hand and turned to run towards the subway station.

Chapter 418 Nightmare

Tomatsu Yuka watched the girl's retreating figure disappear at the end of the street.

She didn't chase after them, but instead looked up at the sea of ​​clouds illuminated by the moonlight, and then, as if exhausted, she collapsed heavily onto the lawn.

The autumn grass, unlike the lush summer grass, was dry and stiff, pricking her neck. The girl frowned, and tears streamed down her face, wetting the outline of her ears.

Her goal was simple: to show her senior how miserable, pitiful, and abnormal she was, so that Yamagami Maki would feel uneasy and have a guilty conscience.

For Tomatsu Yuka, seeing her senior's panicked, guilty, and distraught expression was indeed gratifying, but digging up those painful past experiences and letting emotions run wild was not a pleasant thing.

So after she had cried all her tears, she stood up from the lawn, brushed the grass off her body, and wiped the tear stains from her face.

As she passed the now-closed coffee shop again, the girl turned around and glanced back.

Actually, this is a very nice coffee shop. The simple white walls, combined with wooden tables and chairs and plenty of green plants and shrubs, allow you to see railway tracks through the floor-to-ceiling windows on the second floor, just like in a Japanese drama. In spring, you can also see cherry blossoms.

But she will never come again.

Tomatsu Yuka turned and left.

……

Yamami Maki doesn't know how she got home.

She instinctively boarded the tram to Jiyugaoka Station, walked out of the station in a daze, crossed the street, and pushed open the door of her house.

"You're finally back." Her father, sitting on the sofa, glanced at her. "It's 10:03, three minutes past curfew."

"I'm sorry..." the girl said, her head bowed. "I was delayed a bit on the way."

"Didn't you say you were going out with friends? Can't you even manage your time properly?" The man's voice became stern.

"The family hasn't made a decision about you and Matsueda-kun yet, so don't make us think he's the one who led you astray."

"Yes." Yamami Maki's voice was a little louder, and the woman in the bathroom poked her head out.

"Moji's back?" The woman's voice was as gentle as ever. "Are you hungry? Would you like Mom to cook something for you?"

"No need." The girl obediently shook her head. "I'm a little tired from playing today, and I want to wash up and rest early."

"Shall I heat up a glass of milk for you? Remember to drink it before bed."

"Good~"

The girl continued upstairs to her room. The parrot in the cage chirped merrily a few times, but Yamami Maki paid no attention to it.

She put down her bag, lay down on her bed, and buried her face deep in the blankets.

What to do...? This was the only question left in Yamami Maki's mind.

Although Jun Matsueda had told the girl that she hadn't done anything wrong, this didn't stop a deep sense of guilt from gradually building up in her chest.

She did many things that weren't wrong, such as painting, competing with Kuroba Shin, biting straws, and eating spicy food. None of these were wrong, but they were all banned in the end.

Therefore, Yamami Maki later realized that "not being wrong" didn't mean anything; what mattered to her was "whether it was right or wrong".

However, all of Tomatsu Yuka's words tonight were telling her, "You shouldn't have done that."

"Your happiness is built on my suffering."

Otherwise, why would Yuka shed tears?

Yamami Maki felt a tightness in her chest. She turned over, using the glaring light above her head to hide her vision.

The phone on the blanket vibrated. The girl picked it up and saw Jun Matsueda's message at the top.

"Hasn't my senior gone home yet?"

After unlocking her phone, she saw the message the boy had sent earlier and quickly replied.

"Sorry, my phone ran out of battery earlier, so I didn't see the message."

The input cursor on the screen blinked, and Yami Maki hesitated. This seemed to be the first time she had lied to a boy.

She finally pressed the send button, and Jun Matsue replied very quickly.

"Are we going to video chat again today? Senior just got home, right?"

Yamami Maki hesitated again. She wanted to video chat with her sweetheart and tell him what had just happened, but then she remembered the humble and helpless expression on her junior's face.

Matsueda's mood had finally started to recover a little recently, so she decided not to tell him... The girl told herself.

"Let's skip it today." She sent a helpless emoji. "It's getting late, and I was thinking of taking a bath."

Although the two were close, they weren't at the point where they video chatted every day. The boy, of course, didn't notice anything unusual. After a few simple words, they said goodnight to each other, ending their chat.

After taking a bath, Yamami Maki came out of the bathroom to find a tray of hot milk placed outside her room. She drank the milk in one gulp, and the warmth emanating from her body made the girl feel a little better.

But after turning off the lights, getting into bed, and closing her eyes, the girl realized that it was all fake.

If I simply let my mind wander, I will see Tomatsu Tomohana's eyes brimming with unspoken emotions, and the scene of her weeping uncontrollably under the moonlight.

Maki Yami couldn't fall asleep for a long time that night. Even when she did fall asleep, she would be awakened by the girl's crying and desperate eyes. The most terrifying time was when she dreamed that after she married Jun Matsueda, Yuka Tomatsu was crying in front of her with her face covered in blood.

The junior she once cherished briefly became her nightmare, and Yamami Maki was only woken up by her mother at noon the next day.

"Moji? It's almost noon! Even though it's a holiday today, you can't sleep in this late!"

The woman tugged at the blanket, and the sleepy-eyed girl looked at her groggily. Yamami Maki, as usual, got up, dressed, and prepared to wash up.

The woman combed her daughter's hair. "My father and I are going to the Wangyue family's banquet at noon today. Does Moji want to come along?"

The girl paused for a moment, then, regaining her composure, she subconsciously shook her head. "I don't feel well today, so I'll pass."

"Do you have a fever? Is the blanket too thin?" The woman touched her forehead.

"My throat is a little sore, and my limbs are a bit aching." This was the excuse the girl made for herself.

"She probably caught the flu outside. In that case, Moji, you shouldn't go. I'll tell your father." The woman walked out of the room.

"You'll have to take care of lunch by yourself, okay? You need to eat on time, otherwise your symptoms will get worse."

"Good~"

As Yamami Maki walked out of the room, watching the woman's retreating figure, she recalled the scene from the girl's monologue last night—Tomatsu Yuka crying alone in her room while her mother worked in the study wearing headphones.

"You're so outstanding, you have everything, why do you still want to compete with me for this little bit of happiness?"