Girl Band, Gravity Capture

Page 85

Family, friendship, dignity, wealth... she sadly discovered that she had almost nothing left.

Just as Genjiro Tomoto thought... Toyokawa Shoko, look at what you've turned yourself into?

What can I use to save you?

"But……"

In the end... there are still things that haven't been completely abandoned.

"Xu Dou...I still have you..."

As if grasping at the only straw, Toyokawa Shoko clung tightly to Genjiro's back.

She knew how much her choice had hurt the other person, given that their relationship was already on the verge of collapse due to her resistance. Having lost the leisurely life that came with being a rich young lady, she was no longer capable of maintaining the easy intimacy they once shared.

...She had become an absolute burden to Yuan Xudou.

Earlier, Shoko Toyokawa could at least continue playing the piano in the band. But now, with the disbandment of CryCHIC, the keyboardist's position is naturally no longer needed.

Even so... Genjiro Tou didn't give up on Toyokawa Shoko. While she was wallowing in self-pity, he relentlessly searched for her, from the streets to the internet, repeating futile and exhausting searches... even though his heart was also aching because of the band's breakup.

Toyokawa Shoko couldn't keep her promise of "we will never separate" until the end, but Genji Koto always kept it in his heart.

So... even now, when she has almost lost everything, she still has one thing she can hold onto.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry... Xu Dou... You're all I have left..."

Even when she was filled with helplessness and sorrow, Toyokawa Shoko would never show such a weak expression in front of others. Instead, she would force herself to maintain a strong demeanor to mask her inner unease.

But her feelings of dependence and guilt towards Yuan Xudou allowed her to confide her pain without any burden.

Yuan Xudou listened quietly to the suppressed sobs of the girl in his arms, letting the wetness spread across his shoulder, forming large patches of bitter water stains.

He lowered his brows slightly and gently stroked Toyokawa Shoko's trembling back.

...If only I had realized this sooner, things wouldn't have ended up like this.

However, it is true that without truly experiencing pain, one cannot understand the preciousness of past happiness.

Xiangzi... We're all like that, people who reap what we sow.

It wasn't until Toyokawa Shoko cried out all the tears that had been building up inside her, filled with bitterness and sorrow, that her emotions calmed down a little.

But she still clung tightly to Yuan Xudou's back, burying her face in front of him, looking like she wouldn't let go.

Part of it was because of the embarrassment of crying so embarrassingly in front of others for the first time, and part of it was because she was seeking that little bit of peace of mind and didn't want to give up this hard-won chance to breathe.

You'll only meet one person in your lifetime who you can rely on like this, someone you can cry to with peace of mind and naturalness.

We almost... we almost missed each other and regretted it for the rest of our lives.

At this moment, Toyokawa Shoko felt genuinely fortunate for her own inner weakness.

"What should I do next?" Toyokawa Shoko asked softly, her mumbled words muffled by her clothes.

"The first step is for you to think it through yourself."

So she lowered her head and thought for a long time before speaking.

"I think... I should move out first."

“I don’t want to live there anymore, and I don’t want to see that person again… This is better for both of us.”

Even as she said this, there was still a hint of hesitation in Toyokawa Shoko's voice, indicating that she wasn't entirely at ease.

Noticing this, Yuan Xudou gently stroked her long hair and softly comforted her, "Don't worry, Toyokawa Kiyoko is still the Toyokawa family's son-in-law. They won't really let him get into trouble."

Otherwise, if the Toyokawa family's son-in-law were found dead from alcoholism in his rented room, it would be a major news story that would severely damage the Toyokawa family's image... The Toyokawa family would never allow such a thing to happen.

Shoko Toyokawa, who had stopped obsessing over trivial matters, is now slowly coming to her senses and gradually understanding the issues that were previously overlooked.

Even if he didn't go... his grandfather couldn't just sit by and watch his father fend for himself and disappear into the outside world. Otherwise, it would be a huge blow to his reputation. At most, his grandfather would just let him become decadent, but he would still have basic living security.

...They never considered other people's feelings, thinking they were doing a lot, but actually they were just making things worse...They deserved this result...

Negative thoughts surged up again, but soon, Toyokawa Shoko hugged Genjiro even tighter, using the warmth she absorbed to dispel those decadent thoughts.

"Xu Dou".

After softly humming in agreement with his opinion, she finally raised her head and looked him in the eye seriously.

In those golden eyes, there was no longer ruthless escapism and coldness, but a faint yet real light rekindled.

Although the past cannot be undone... it is not over yet.

I... will definitely make up for the mistakes I made.

Before we mend our relationship... please wait for me.

Clutching at the hope that had finally reappeared in her heart, Toyokawa Shoko finally smiled, her face still streaked with tears.

"For the time being... we may not be able to find a suitable house yet."

"Before that... Xu Dou, can you take me in?"

Since we've already decided to rely on him... it wouldn't hurt to rely on him a little more, right?

Chapter 118 Struggling to Live On

Following Toyokawa Shoko, Genji arrived at her current rented apartment.

She took out her key and opened the door.

The alcohol is mixed with some kind of residue or digestive matter, and the unpleasant smell of fermentation and sourness hits you. Although it is not strong, it is enough to make a normal person unable to bear it.

"here we go again……"

Genjiro frowned as he saw Toyokawa Shoko turn her head away as if avoiding the smell, biting her lower lip and showing a look of disgust.

Noticing his gaze, Toyokawa Shoko's expression turned somewhat awkward.

Even without looking further in, it was clear that the self-destructive Toyokawa Kiyotaka was probably lying unconscious in his room, completely drunk, with undigested food still lingering in the sink. Even knowing that some of his behavior was feigned, it was still... repulsive.

What's more, it just so happened that Xu Dou was packing his things at home with him...!

As Toyokawa Shoko felt ashamed of her disgraceful father, Genji Koto temporarily adapted to the pungent smell lingering in the air and stepped into the room first.

He bent slightly, stepped over the low doorway, and then straightened up to look around.

The walls were covered in mold, the tatami mats were damp and rough, the lights were dim and flickering, the room was cramped and small, with hardly any room to move, and even light could hardly penetrate through the dust-covered windows, exuding a gloomy and decaying atmosphere.

Several shriveled empty cans lay carelessly discarded in the corner, from which bubbly, pale yellow liquor seeped, seeping into the already poor-quality wooden floor like a small yellow snake crawling in the cracks.

It's no wonder that Xiangzi's emotions became so depressed and extreme after staying in such an environment for a long time.

Yuan Xudou recalled the first house he lived in when he first started living alone. He felt that the environment was not much different, just a little cleaner and tidier, and there was no odor in the house.

But at that time, he had escaped the living environment of more than a dozen children crammed into one dormitory room. Although the rented room was small, it still had a lot more personal space compared to the previous one.

As for Shoko… he remembered the first time she brought him home, the room he saw was almost bigger than the living room in his single-story apartment in Roppongi, spacious and bright, with even an open-air balcony—that was just the place where Shoko Toyokawa used to practice the piano.

Yuan Xudou shook his head.

"Xiangzi, go and get your things."

Since Toyokawa Shoko didn't want to stay here any longer, she planned to take all her belongings and sleep in the guest room of Genjiro's house tonight—if it weren't for his concern, the girl would accept sleeping on the sofa or sharing a bed with him.

"We have spare blankets and such, just bring your clothes and other necessary items."

"Ah."

Suppressing the growing disgust for the house in her expression, and using the hope of leaving this life behind to dilute the terrible memories left here, Toyokawa Shoko nodded to him, then held her breath and stepped into her room.

Standing in the narrow Japanese-style room, the floorboards, uneven in color due to the dampness, seemed to still make faint noises underfoot. Gen Xudou looked around and walked towards what should be the kitchen.

Opening the refrigerator, a dazzling array of beers and spirits comes into view, filling the entire crisper drawer.

This must have been bought with Toyokawa Kiyoko's own money. Xiangzi's wages and the remaining balance in his card couldn't possibly afford for him to drink like this.

Unsurprised by this, Yuan Xudou frowned, parted the layers of chilling wine bottles, and rummaged around inside for a long time.

Finally, he looked at the two slightly green tomatoes in his hand and sighed.

I should have bought some groceries on the way here.

Sigrún has taught at the Iceland University of the Arts as a part-time lecturer since and was Dean of the Department of Fine Art from -. In – she held a research position at Reykjavík Art Museum focusing on the role of women in Icelandic art. She studied fine art at the Icelandic College of Arts and Crafts and at Pratt Institute, New York, and holds BA and MA degrees in art history and philosophy from the University of Iceland. Sigrún lives and works in Iceland.

Sigrún has taught at the Iceland University of the Arts as a part-time lecturer since and was Dean of the Department of Fine Art from -. In – she held a research position at Reykjavík Art Museum focusing on the role of women in Icelandic art. She studied fine art at the Icelandic College of Arts and Crafts and at Pratt Institute, New York, and holds BA and MA degrees in art history and philosophy from the University of Iceland. Sigrún lives and works in Iceland.

Toyokawa Shoko walked around her room again, thoroughly cleaning the already small and simple house.

She took out several clothes that had faded from washing, her Tsukimori school uniform that she rarely wore because she was reluctant to part with them and afraid of being recognized, a few decorations that belonged to her, and some other things, and neatly put them into her suitcase.

In the end, the empty room was left with only two suitcases standing on the floor. They were neither light nor heavy, but they contained everything she had brought from the Toyokawa family home.

...except for the dolls left to her by her mother, Mizuho Toyokawa, which she brought from the Toyokawa family mansion.

With a complicated expression, Toyokawa Shoko picked up the doll and held it in her hands.

She gazed at the toy doll that embodied her longing for her mother, a doll she wanted to take with her even after leaving the Toyokawa family. Finally, she gently placed it on the bedside table.

I'm sorry, Mother.

You have your choice... and I, too, am going to choose the most important person to me.

I cannot, and will no longer, be bound by your choices... Let this doll you gave me take your place and continue to watch over Father.

Having apologized to her mother in her heart, Toyokawa Shoko, determined to truly follow her heart, let out a soft breath and dragged her suitcase out of the room.

"Xu Dou, I've put it away...?"

She stopped and stared wide-eyed at the vibrant colors steaming on the table.

The aroma of the dishes wafted out, carrying away the unpleasant smells in the room with the gentle breeze.

Yuan Xudou, who was opening the window to ventilate the room, noticed the commotion and turned around to look. "All packed up? Then eat something to fill your stomach first. The food is in the pot."

"We don't have any ingredients, so we can only make a simple tomato and egg stir-fry... We'll have a proper dinner when we get back."

After giving these casual words of advice, he turned back to open the window and waved his hand, as if to dispel the stale smell that had accumulated in the air.

The next moment, a warm and soft object bumped straight into him from behind and hugged him.

The hands that were wrapped around his waist held him tightly, yet they seemed to be doing so with great care.

Genjiro was neither surprised by her actions nor did he speak. Feeling Toyokawa Shoko trembling behind him, he raised his head and calmly looked at the crescent moon that was gradually rising in the night sky.

"Xu Dou, I..." Toyokawa Shoko's muffled voice seemed to be suppressing the sobs that were beginning to rise again.

"Xiangzi," he said softly, "it's not good to move house on an empty stomach, go eat."

"……it is good."

Although she agreed, she didn't let go of the hand holding her waist.

"I'm so sorry... I ruined everyone's dreams, I made..."

"—Xiangzi."

Gen Xudou turned around and embraced her trembling body, interrupting Toyokawa Shoko's self-reproachful whispers.

Even if we lose a lot... we must continue to live.

"Let's go eat." He repeated (seven*)児⑶邻泗鸠7 陕死曰=}易。

Toyokawa Shoko looked up, staring blankly into his somewhat dim black eyes.

She pursed her lips, a thousand words brewing in her heart. Regret, heartache, guilt, relief... and a growing affection and dependence surged together, leaving her completely at a loss for words.

Finally, Toyokawa Shoko stood on tiptoe and hugged him tightly, as if she wanted to meld him into her own body, leaving no gaps between them.

She pressed her face against Yuan Xudou's cheek, closed her eyes, and swallowed all her complex emotions.

"Ah."

Final Chapter: Stars Shining Nearby, Wings Broken but Coexisting

"Xu Dou... so you live in a place like this."