Awakening Following Fate

Witches in the Woods-2

“If only. Sometimes they come at you and tell a story with perfect clarity. Most of the time, they’re a mess of figuring it out and second-guessing what it’s meant to be saying. When I was pregnant with you, I saw a white dove carrying a leaf….. multiple times. It never once clicked that it symbolized a new life and path with the purest of love. My son.” Sierra glows at that, and for a moment, it hurts. To know she was denied a decade of that child’s life, and now, she’s stuck here in a mateless bond with no hope of ever being able to produce another child.

Even in her circumstances, it’s forbidden for her to find another mate, and it wouldn’t exactly kill her bond with Juan. Even if she despises everything he has done, she still cries for how her heart bleeds at the separation of her bond. It’s partly why she’s driven to sadness and isolation to try and work through and understand her internal conflict. You can both love and hate someone at the same time.

“Maybe you’re right, and I’m overthinking it. I just need to pull us all together and focus on one day at a time. I would never hurt you, Lorey, not like that. I know I wouldn’t, so it can’t be real or a future vision. It has to be symbolic, and we’ll figure it out.” Colton seems calmer now, relaxed, and he sighs, picking up his pancake with a half-smile as I softly kiss him on the cheek.

“I know you never would.” I nuzzle against him for a second as he slides his arm around me, instead of hand-holding, and hugs me to assure me that he’s the one person in the world who would never do anything in life to hurt me in any way ever again. He loves me, and this is something insignificant.

“Alpha, Luna, Rema, I’m sorry to disrupt your breakfast, but I must speak with my Alpha.” Radar stands at the open door to our breakfast room, eyes on his feet like always whenever he’s in the presence of Sierra. Even though her being changed to Rema, or Mother of the Alpha, and no longer Luna, he has never broken the habit. As Delta to Colton, he has the authority to look even his alpha in the eye, so I always find it weird he can’t break this respectful mannerism for her. I guess knowing he has always had affection for her is partly why. I think he’s too shy to look Sierra in the face.

“I’m coming.” Colton gets up quickly, kissing my temple before sliding out of his seat and discarding his half-eaten breakfast. He passes behind his mother and kisses her on the head as he goes. This is normal in our life. He takes care of everything and is always ready to jump to attention should issues arise. No time of the day is out of bounds except our quiet time before bed.

We understand that he takes care of the security, the military side, and the continual running, and I take care of the people’s everyday needs. Education, food, love, and community. I prefer it to tactical meetings and the ever-rounding up of sentinel patrols to keep our land safe. I help with patrols when he joins them, but other than that, the security is not part of what I focus on.

Sierra watches Radar, sitting a little straighter from the corner of her eye, and pastes on a warm smile before turning towards him fully. She likes him. Not that he will see it, with his eyes fixed firmly on the marble floor, and I wish he would make contact at least once in her lifetime.

“You look well. I like your new haircut.” She smiles somewhat coyly, and Radar stiffens. A hint of pink rosy blushes over his cheekbones and only seems to push his nose further down towards his feet.

“Thank you, Rema Santo.” Radar is curt, a little too quick with his response, while his cheekbones color further as he turns with an almost relieved exhale when Colton passes him with a pat on the shoulder to tell him to move.

They leave with him, pulling the door closed behind them so we can eat in peace and not even a glance in our direction as they disappear between the crack. I glance at her crestfallen face as she returns to her food. Not the first time I’ve seen slight disappointment in her brief interactions with her ex-guard, and I can’t hold my tongue this time.

“You like him, don’t you?” I smile encouragingly as Sierra’s face flames crimson, and she clumsily drops her fork.

“I ..umm, am grateful…he was my Ummm. No, I can’t. I mean, no, I do…of course, I do. He’s truly awesome as a male, wolf, guard, type, sort of guy, um, young man. Not that young, I mean almost my age young, Ughhh………. I owe him my life. It’s just…. He’s very….. aloof. For a guy who used to shadow me and make me feel safe.” Her blushing goes all the way to her roots, and I grin wider. Knowing that fumbling, awkward self-war only too well. Breathless, tongue-tied, fidgeting insanely with her plate and fork, and unable to look me in the eye. The little warm spread through my heart tells me I hit the nail on the head.

“So, that’s a yes, then? …. He’s never mated up. No lovers, no girlfriends. Totally single. I think he’s maybe just shy, and you intimidate him.” I shrug, not even going to pretend she doesn’t like him. For months now, she acts like this nervous virgin type whenever he shows up, and he is hopelessly stiff, curt, unable to formulate any conversation at all, and leaves as quickly as he can. I already know Radar likes her, and it wouldn’t be wholly awful to see the Rema have even some happiness. Even if neither physically acted it out, they just became friends or something. Maybe she wouldn’t be so sad.

“My bond to that……… I can’t do anything with any male. There’s no point leading on anyone with no chance of a future. Radar deserves a nice femme with no complications. He’s loyal, sweet, stable, and completely efficient regarding protection. Should I ever leave this house, I would still have him as my guard.” She turns away and stares out the window listlessly, a little crestfallen, eyes misting with emotion, but it only sparks a little twinkle in my mind.

“I think, as Luna, I believe my Mother-in-law, the Rema of this pack, needs her own guards still. Even if it’s to sit out in the sun and play cards, I’m sure Radar wouldn’t object to picking up where he left off a decade ago.”

“Don’t. I know you mean well, but Juan will never let me go, and this bond will only make everyone miserable if I allow myself to get close to another in any way.” The defeat in her tone silences me, and I know this is futile. After six months of living here, three of those saw her well enough to interact in the pack, and she still chooses to be solitary, separate, and push away all other relationships outside of Colton and me. Sierra is punishing herself for things she couldn’t stop and letting herself wither away in this room at the top of the west wing. I exhale in defeat and sadness for her. My heart is aching that she, of all people, deserves happiness, and the fates have abandoned her.

Juan can jump in a lake for all I care. In the last months, we have had little communication with the mountain. There has been an occasional hemorrhage of runways heading this way to find sanctuary within our walls, and we know Juan is only biding his time while figuring out what to do about us. We don’t give him the opportunity. We never stray outside our land and focus on just living our lives.

Maybe it’s because he’s stayed away and left us be, or perhaps he thinks the prophecy was wrong, and the only rising I’m about to do has already been done in creating our small homestead pack and our new life away from the shadow of our mountain. He’s focused on rallying his army to prepare for the vampires and war, and we seem to have fallen off his radar for now. I haven’t forgotten, though. My family perished at his hands, and I won’t let that grudge ever die. One day we will have our moment.

I pull my mind back to the here and now. Realizing Sierra has stood up and wandered to her balcony window to gaze out as the rain begins to fall and dims down the bright sun which woke us this morning. It’s soft today, overcast now with threats of a rainy day, and a little colder but pleasant. Perfect weather for staying inside and working on some of the details for the schoolhouse.

“Do you really think Colton’s dream is just his eternal stress finding a way to vent?” I ask her, knowing she would never lie to me, especially not while alone. Sierra and I have built a bond these past months, like mother and daughter. I never knew how much I needed it until Sierra woke up many months ago and showed me what it was like to have a mom again.

“The mind is a complex and often frustrating tool, and being a seer is not always what it’s cracked up to be.” There’s distance in her tone, and I frown at her response.

“Do you ever regret your path based on your visions?” I’ve always wondered but never felt it appropriate to ask. She stops momentarily, still as a statue, and I can see her mind turning over as she thinks through my question. She sacrificed so much for my life, and I wonder if she had it to do over would she choose not to see the truth and live in blissful ignorance with her mate and son instead of losing ten years of their lives? Her emotions stabilize, and her mood brightens to an almost steel-like calm.

“No. I can’t say I do. I regret leaving my child to cope alone for so long, but he wouldn’t be the man he is now. He wouldn’t have the happiness he found in you if I hadn’t. I would rather live a lonely existence of truth without that monster as my mate than ignorance, fake happiness, and the demise of these people. Nothing about our bond was true…. It was orchestrated from the second he laid eyes on me. I don’t regret what I did, only that I didn’t do it better and that I left myself no way to be the one to put a knife in that monster’s heart.” She turns boldly, a hint of fierce in her eye, and I nod, knowing her one desire in life is to see Juan fall.

Adoring this woman who means so much to me now in my life, I can’t believe I spent my entire existence oblivious to her importance for so long. I know she means every word, and it’s not the first time she has wished to be the ending blow to her mate. She has often told Colton that if she hadn’t bound us together for eternity, she would march to that mountain and Juan and end herself for good. A true Luna, putting her people before her own life.

“One day. We’ll find a way to free us all. Maybe with magic…. Maybe the fates will figure it out for us. I feel like this isn’t over by a long shot.” I interject to distract her from thinking about that dark shadow on her heart.

“Maybe…. If I could still see the future, that would help, but since I woke up, it seems my son is the only one seeing visions now. I feel like my magic is waning the stronger he gets, and I don’t know if it’s meant to. I don’t know what that means.” Her words trail off quietly as she introverts thoughtfully, and I gasp at her words, my eyes widening, and I get up to go to her with a sickening lurch in my belly.

“Have you told Colton?” This is news to me. The first she has ever mentioned the loss of her gift. This is a major thing.

“No. I will. I didn’t want to worry him that something is wrong. Maybe it’s a natural decline of my gifts as my offspring rises. I can’t say I remember if my mother did, but maybe daughters are different.” She sighs and shrugs it away as unimportant, but I can’t shift the niggles.

“Do you think maybe it’s not that at all, and your sadness and discontent somehow marred the gifts? You have so much of a changed life since you woke up. It’s normal to experience mental backlash at everyone you lost, everything that’s changed.” I have heard that an emotional state can weaken any supernatural gift, and it’s a strong possibility.

“Perhaps… maybe. I guess time will tell.”

Her tone deflates me, but I don’t want to dwell on things that upset her. I know she can still use her magic for now, and I hope we figure it out before she loses what she has. Sierra’s magic is a gift that should be treasured. It saved us from so much, and it would be wrong on all levels to see her lose it.

“Are you really not worried about the witches in the woods?” I ask, derailing our conversation and returning to what brought us up here so bright and early this morning. I know to Colton she said she wasn’t, as long as we stay within the boundaries, but my gut says she isn’t being entirely honest.

“No, and yet… yes. Witches are a whole other breed, and in my time asleep, I don’t know what changes there have been in the world. There are so many forbidden forms of dark magic that most avoid. I can’t say I know they still do. We should be ever more aware and play it safe, more so than before.” She looks me deadpan in the eye, and I nod, a sinking wariness hitting my gut, and for the first time since our life began here, I begin to feel afraid.