Genshin Impact: My roommate and I became funny Hilichurls

Page 59

He smiled knowingly and whispered to Qingyu beside him, "As expected, Zhongli still used it."

The Rat Talisman—transforming stillness into movement, endowing static objects with dynamic vitality.

And coincidentally, Grandma Ping always treasured an old object belonging to Gui Zhong, containing a trace of her breath and memories—a small and exquisite dust bell.

After learning about the existence and power of the Rat Talisman, Zhongli remained silent for a long time before finally asking Aping for the Dust Bell.

Although even the four of them were not entirely sure whether the power of the Rat Talisman could transcend life and death and "restore" or "conceptualize" an item to the complete form and consciousness of its original owner, rather than simply creating a moving puppet.

But these four guys have almost all the abilities of comedic characters.

One of them is

"If I think it can work, then it definitely can!"

Looking at Gui Zhong's lively and cunning smile, exactly as they remembered, and at the timeless scene of her standing with Zhong Li, the turmoil in the hearts of the immortals was gradually replaced by an indescribable, immense joy and sorrow.

"...Welcome back, return to the end."

Xianyun was the first to come to her senses, her voice trembling with a rare sob.

"Just come back..."

As the True Lord of Slicing the Moon and Building the Sun spoke repeatedly, a crystalline shimmer appeared in his enormous deer eyes.

And so, in a dreamlike atmosphere, Zhongli and Guizhong joined this already legendary banquet.

Zhongli sat naturally on the stone bench that the Wolf King had brought over, while Guizhong, like a happy butterfly, curiously approached each acquaintance to greet them, praising the modern Liyue cuisine made by the Wolf King, and even trying to pinch Gu Qian's huge, bewildered fingers.

After the Wolf King served the last few exquisitely crafted desserts, which were like works of art, he finally stopped standing by as a steward, at the urging of Qingyu, Erkang, Zhang Chu, and Gu Qian.

His three-meter-tall white werewolf body cautiously chose a stone bench to sit on, picked up a specially made oversized set of tableware, and began to quietly enjoy the delicious food he had personally cooked, a culinary masterpiece that combined the essence of Liyue's mountains and seas with the fantastical ideas of another world.

The metal wolf's face was expressionless, but the slightly relaxed shoulder line and the occasional sway of its tail tip revealed its current satisfaction and tranquility.

The gentle moonlight bathed Mount Aozang, where the power of the gods, the power of the elements, laughter, the aroma of food, and the miracle that transcends life, death, and time intertwined, making the night incomparably brilliant and eternal.

Chapter 62 "Wishing you a Happy New Year!"

The eerie atmosphere of Wuwangpo was completely shattered by bursts of noise.

The four-person group used branches they picked up, a few broken planks, and some wooden shields they "borrowed" from the Hilichurl camp to build a shaky, postmodern abstract art-style "simple octagonal cage".

"Take this! Foshan Shadowless Kick!"

Qingyu made full use of his agility.

He let out a sharp shriek, leaped into the air, his body spinning rapidly through the air, his cloak fluttering wildly, his legs creating a dazzling display of afterimages as he fiercely kicked towards Gu Qian, who was as large as a small mountain.

And then... no more.

Gu Qian blinked his lightbulb-sized yellow eyes in confusion, then raised his fan-like hand and, as if swatting a fly, precisely grabbed Qing Yu, who had transformed into a human spinning top, in mid-air.

All of Qingyu's movements stopped instantly. His body was firmly held in place by the giant fingers, with only his head and feet sticking out.

Gu Qian looked at the Qingyu in his hand with an honest expression, then at the ground, and then...

BAM!

A simple, textbook-perfect "Mount Tai pressing down"!

Gu Qian grabbed Qing Yu, leaned his whole body back, and then slammed himself and Qing Yu to the ground!

The entire Wuwangpo seemed to tremble, and dust billowed into the sky. Several ghosts who were watching the commotion screamed and scurried back into the ground.

As the smoke cleared, Gu Qian slowly got up and scratched his head.

The spot where he had just slammed down left a clear crater in the ground, shaped like a Hilichurl. Qingyu was flattened inside, like a pancake that had been slammed onto a table, with only the edges still twitching slightly.

"Gu Qian scores another point!"

Paimon excitedly did a somersault in the air and announced loudly.

Ying calmly took a sip of coconut juice, picked up a pen, and drew a tally mark under Gu Qian's name on a scoreboard with a chibi version of Raidou-o. Her movements were so practiced that it was heartbreaking.

"Hey, Qingyu, are you alright?"

Gu Qian squatted down and carefully poked the "Hicmur Cake" on the ground with his huge fingers.

Qingyu, who was in a flat position, was silent for a few seconds, and then stubbornly and tremblingly extended a thumb from the edge of the "pancake" to indicate that he was doing alright (probably).

"Alright, you can log off now, it's our turn!"

Er Kang, who had been waiting impatiently for a long time, jumped up with a somersault.

He pulled out a scythe from who-knows-where, striking what he considered a wicked and arrogant pose: "Tremble! Howl beneath my world-destroying scythe! Power of the abyss, heed my call!"

Zhang Chu didn't bother with any words. He simply picked up his crackling thunder hammer and walked into the octagonal cage with a dark expression.

The two horns on his head seemed to be sparkling with excitement at the impending "education".

After confirming that Qingyu (who had been carefully dug out of the ground by Gu Qian and was being hung on a tree branch like clothes to restore his original form) and Gu Qian had left the area, Ying raised her hand and shouted in a flat tone, "Three, two, one, start!"

"Take this, my Pig Charge!"

Zhang Chu roared, his whole body like a wild boar that had broken free of its reins (literally), head down, holding the thunder hammer in front of him, his feet digging wildly into the ground, charging towards Er Kang who was still posing with unstoppable momentum and flying dirt!

Seeing this, Er Kang smiled contemptuously: "Hmph, Old Zhang! You underestimate me too much!"

He made an elegant (in his own opinion) turn, attempting to easily dodge the savage collision.

However, at this critical moment...

"Hey! Friends over there! Look over here, look over here!"

A cheerful, energetic voice, completely out of place in the gloomy environment of Wuwangpo, suddenly came from the path beside them.

"Wang Sheng Tang is having a huge sale! Buy one get one free! Order now and you'll also receive a copy of 'Song of Peace' composed by Hu Tao himself! Don't miss this opportunity!"

Hu Tao! It's that quirky and clever head of the Rebirth Hall! She's somehow wandered over here, her eyes shining as she looks at this group of (who look like they're really asking for trouble) potential customers, holding a thick stack of flyers in her hand!

Everyone froze, including Er Kang, who was preparing to gracefully dodge, and Zhang Chu, who was sprinting at full speed.

Upon hearing the familiar sales pitch, especially keywords like "tombstone" and "coffin," Zhang Chu's body stiffened abruptly, his sprinting motion instantly froze, and his steps became completely erratic! He tried to brake, but the immense inertia made it impossible for him to stop!

Then, to everyone's astonishment, the following series of horrific scenes unfolded:

Zhang Chu was like an out-of-control dump truck; instead of hitting Er Kang, he crashed headfirst into the crumbling octagonal cage fence!

Crack! Boom! The already fragile fence was instantly smashed to pieces, sending wood chips flying everywhere.

The immense inertia caused Zhang Chu to completely lose his balance, slamming face down onto the ground!

But that wasn't all! His body continued to slide forward! His face, his chest, and most importantly, the two hard horns on his head became the best tools for ploughing!

With a sickening "sizzle" sound, a deep, smoking ditch was plowed into the hard soil of Wuwangpo!

This efficiency is so great that even the oxen plowing the fields would offer a cigarette and become his apprentices!

The gliding journey, sparking and flashing (literally, the hammer was still crackling with electricity), finally came to an end.

Zhang Chu stopped precisely in front of Hu Tao's embroidered shoes with an absolutely perfect "slide kneeling" posture.

Due to inertia, his upper body leaned forward sharply, making an extremely sincere and standard "Happy New Year" gesture!

Then, his head lolled to the side, and he completely lost consciousness. Smoke was still rising from the top of his head, and a few fresh black soil and grass roots were still hanging from the corner of his head.

The whole world is quiet.

Hu Tao blinked her plum-blossom eyes, looking curiously at the Hilichurl thug who had suddenly appeared at her feet in an extremely tragic and dramatic way and had even given her a deep bow.

She crouched down and carefully poked Zhang Chu's smoking head with the end of her staff: "Hey? Hello? Sir? Wake up, let's discuss business in detail?"

After poking him a few times to confirm he was completely unconscious, Hu Tao raised her head, looked at the group of petrified people in the distance, pointed at Zhang Chu at her feet, and asked loudly in an innocent tone:

"Hey—friends over there! Is this Zhang Chu? You know him, right? Is he a potential client of Wangshengtang? This look is quite unique. Should we pre-order Wangshengtang's 'A Journey of Sparks and Lightning' exclusive package? Give him a discount!"

"I don't know him! I absolutely don't know him!"

"Who is it? I've never seen them before!"

"Just passing by? Probably a lost ordinary Hilichurl!"

Qingyu (who has recovered from being in a pancake-like state), Erkang, Ying, Paimeng, and even Guqian all moved in unison, turning around instantly. Some looked up at the sky, some looked at the ground, and some whistled. They all denied it three times in unison with firm tone!

This is so damn embarrassing! It's unbearable to look at!

He actually managed to slide face-first and knee-first through the crowd, knocking himself unconscious, and even managed to wish the coffin salesman, Walnut, a Happy New Year in advance!

If they admit it, what will become of their reputation? How will they ever be able to live in Teyvat again?!

Qingyu, hanging on a tree branch, even covered her face with a cloak, pretending to be just an ordinary item drying in the sun.

Chapter 63 CP Come True

"You came all this way just for this?"

Qingyu held a flyer with the plum blossom logo of the Hall of Rebirth printed on it. The flyer was designed in a fancy and even cute way. His lips twitched as he looked at the energetic Walnut in front of him.

The words "Second monument half price" on the flyer were particularly eye-catching.

With her hands on her hips, Hu Tao puffed out her not-so-obvious chest, her small face beaming with pride that seemed to say, "Praise my dedication!" "Of course! I came all this way just to find you! As the 77th head of the Rebirth Hall, it's my duty to promote our high-quality products to every potential, high-quality, and especially demanding customer!"

She even pulled out a small abacus from somewhere and tapped it a few times.

"I see that you all have extraordinary bone structure, and your foreheads are... well, your faces are glowing red. You are definitely our top VIP target customers!"

"It's just a coffin..."

Erkang, holding his sickle, couldn't help but mutter a complaint under his breath.

"Can they even make it more appealing?"

"Don't bring up the coffin yet!"

With a fresh, still throbbing bump on his head, Zhang Chu interrupted the discussion about funeral services with a dark expression (though his face was covered by a mask).

He was more concerned with a core question, pointing to the desolate Wuwang Slope: "Master Hu, how did you find us so accurately in this godforsaken place?"

Their decision to hold "octagonal fighting" here was a spur-of-the-moment thing!

Hu Tao blinked her bright, plum-blossom eyes, a "does this even need asking?" look on her face, and without hesitation betrayed a certain guest elder of the Rebirth Hall: "It was the guest elder who told me! I asked him if he knew where there were any important clients, and he, while drinking his tea, told me without even looking up, 'There seems to be some... lively activity at the southeast corner of Wuwang Slope; the hall master might be able to go there.' I thought, lively activity? That can't be ordinary people! Sure enough, I found you!"

Guest Elder... Zhongli!