Genshin Impact: My roommate and I became funny Hilichurls

Page 9

Public opinion polls show that 87% of Mondstadt residents say that "their reverence for the gods has decreased, but their sense of intimacy has soared," with young believers in particular starting to use "Ehe~☆" as a closing remark in their prayers.

The elderly believers protested collectively, but Lisa persuaded them to leave on the grounds that it was "an artistic creation personally approved by God."

(Wendy: ??? When did I approve this?!)

New laws and public security regulations

The Mondstadt Special Artworks Management Regulations were promulgated:

The creation of any 1:1 scale articulated figures of deities is prohibited (but chibi-style figures are allowed).

Holographic projections require prior notification (to prevent another wink attack).

The statue's clothing coverage must be ≥60% (Kaeya secretly changed the clause to "including the cape").

Internal disciplinary action by the Knights:

The 30 knights on duty that night were punished with a month of cleaning for "spitting blood from their noses and polluting the city walls," but while cleaning, they discovered a group of four hiding "Barbatos emojis" in the cracks between the bricks.

Economic chain reaction

Tourism boom:

Tourists from all over the world flocked to the site just to catch a glimpse of the "legendary forbidden statue," and the ticket revenue made the treasurer grin from ear to ear.

Black market for derivative products:

Pirated miniature statues are flooding the docks, complete with interchangeable costumes:

Limited edition "Abyss Mage Robe" (worst selling item)

Bestselling "Bandage Wrapped Ver." (Designed anonymously by Zhang Chu)

The hidden item, "The Serious Barbatos in a Suit" (nobody buys it).

And so, the group successfully settled into Mondstadt.

Chapter 10 Wendy in the Sack

"Hmm... the people of Mondstadt are closer to Barbatos, the wind god, although their attitude frightens me a little..."

Wendy hummed a little tune as she plucked the strings of her lyre.

The setting sun cast its last rays onto the quiet path, and an undisguised smile played on his lips—ever since that "artistic statue" became a city-wide sensation, the Angel's Gift Tavern's customer traffic had tripled, and the patrons were all gathering in the square, which meant…

"Hehe, I can get more free drinks now!"

Suddenly, one of the strings snapped with a "clang".

Wendy stopped in her tracks, and the piano music abruptly ceased.

It's so quiet... there's not even a sound of someone speaking.

This eerie silence usually means only one thing—

A sack covered in chibi-style drawings of the wind god fell from the sky and precisely trapped the bewildered bard.

"Huh?! Wait—"

A precise chop to the back of the neck.

Erkang hoisted the wriggling sack and gestured towards Qingyu, who was draped in a black robe, at the alley entrance.

The latter is distributing limited-edition "Blushing Barbatos" figurines to people under the guise of "free giveaways".

"This is the last batch."

Qingyu lowered his voice and handed the last figurine to the nun, whose face was flushed.

"Remember to leave a five-star review!"

Knights of Favonius Headquarters - Library

Lisa was making a potion at the synthesis table: "So, you guys really managed to catch that Wind God who doesn't do his job properly?"

Zhang Chu adjusted his mask: "Probability 98.7%."

Gu Qian tried to squeeze through the gate, but ended up stuck in a rectangular shape: "Excuse me...excuse me...let me in!"

The library door was violently kicked open.

Erkang rushed in carrying a wriggling sack, followed closely by Qingyu, who slammed a wooden sign on the table with a "bang".

Ying reflexively took the sign and read aloud, "Lisa, you promised us... if we bring Barbatos himself here, you'll make us a potion that will allow us to speak normally..."

The air freezes.

Ying silently hugged Paimon, who was floating nearby; she needed some peace and quiet.

"puff--!"

The coffee that the band leader spat out drew a perfect parabola in the air.

Amber's bunny ears snapped up like antennae: "Lord Barbatos?!"

Paimon's eyes rolled back as Ying instinctively choked him: "I'm...I'm going to die..."

Lisa's spellbook fell to the ground with a thud. Her hand trembled as she pointed at the sack: "You wouldn't...?"

"Thorn-"

The moment the sack was opened, Wendy, curled up in a ball, looked up blankly, a few strands of straw still stuck in her hair.

He was holding a half-empty bottle of cider in his arms, his cheeks flushed from lack of oxygen in the bag, looking like a drunken cat that had been caught.

Wendy blinked: "Huh?"

Everyone: "..."

That familiar voice... there's no doubt, this drunken bard is definitely Barbatos!

You should know that the statue in the square is still occasionally saying "Hey!"

------

Ultimately, the four were confined to a cell for a day for their disrespect towards the gods.

Except for Gu Qian, who was too big to fit in, he was asked to do some odd jobs.

At that moment, at Wendy's place.

"So, Lord Bar... Wendy, do you need our assistance to remove the poisonous blood from Dvalin's body?"

The ensemble leader put down her cup, her brows furrowing slightly.

Wendy sat on the windowsill of the captain's office, swinging her legs: "That's right~ The original plan was to appease him with the Sky Harp, but now..."

He shrugged helplessly.

“Those four clowns left Tvalin with severe psychological trauma.”

Ying suddenly turned to face the wall, her shoulders shaking violently.

Paimon quickly flew over and patted her on the back: "Traveler, what's wrong?"

"No, it's okay..."

Ying's voice was muffled.

"I just suddenly remembered... I remembered that Hilichurls make really delicious grilled meat..."

Everyone in the office tacitly looked away—they all knew what she was thinking, because when Barbara came back earlier, she had already told them what those clowns had done, although they didn't believe it at the time.

The leader of the guild coughed lightly, pretending to tidy up the documents on the table; Lisa's spellbook floated in mid-air, its pages moving without wind; Amber looked at the ceiling and whistled, but her lips kept twitching.

Wendy sighed: "Although the method was a bit... unusual, they did manage to remove nearly half of the poisonous blood from Dvalin's body."

He shook the apple wine in his hand.

"We'll go straight to the Wind Dragon Ruins after they come out of confinement tomorrow."

"Is this really okay?"

"I'm worried," the troupe leader asked.

“I mean… Dvalin’s condition…”

Well, with those four lively characters around, the troupe leader Qin has already stopped considering the possibility of failure.

"Don't worry~"

Wendy blinked.

"At most, Dvalin will just develop a conditioned reflex when he sees a Hilichurl..."

Meanwhile, deep within the Wind Dragon Ruins.

Dvalin coiled himself into a giant ball, his dragon wings tightly wrapped around his body, and his tail fiercely protecting a certain part of his body.

His scales occasionally bristled as he warily surveyed his surroundings.

"Roar..." (Those demons probably won't chase us here...)

A gust of wind blew by, stirring up the fallen leaves in the ruins. Dvalin sprang to his feet, his dragon eyes narrowing to slits: "Who's there!"

After confirming it was just a rumor, he slowly relaxed and used his claws to carve a new defensive plan on the stone slab: [Focus on strengthening rear defenses].

After thinking for a moment, he spat out another wisp of flame and added from the side: "Absolutely do not let the purple energy get close!"

Outside the confinement room, Paimon curiously peered through the iron bars of the window: "Are you all alright in there?"

"Absolutely fantastic!"

Er Kang's voice came from inside.

"Lisa's potion works wonders! We can finally talk!"

Qingyu slipped a note through a gap in the railing: "We prepared a gift of condolence for Tvalin."

Paimon unfolded the note, which had a heart-shaped medicine bottle drawn on it, and the label read "Special Dragon Hemorrhoid Cream." Although she couldn't understand it, it was definitely not a good name.

"You guys..."

Paimon frowned, suddenly realizing that Gu Qian was gone.

"Huh? Where's that big guy, Gu Qian?"