From a son-in-law to a favorite of the empress

Chapter 1187

Zhou Yuan sat quietly in a chair, thinking about his psychological changes along the way, but after all, he was in a difficult situation and failed to notice anything wrong.

Guan Miaoshan gave the answer.

"Pressure, fear, self-discipline, mechanization."

She handed the tea to Zhou Yuan and said softly: "I first met you in Baiyun Temple. At that time, you were alone, so you were very free and easy. You could even say that you practiced for future enjoyment."

"After pacifying the two rivers, you came to Shenjing. At that time, you had responsibilities, but the overall trend was positive."

"After the peace talks in Tianjin, that is, after the assassination of the emperor, you became depressed, holding back a rage in your heart, and there was resentment that could not be vented. "

At this point, Guan Miaoshan held his hand and said, "Of course, there are reasons for me. I didn't do these things well."

Zhou Yuan frowned and said, "At that time, I faced a lot of things. Jianjia fled thousands of miles with Ningyue while pregnant. The Five Cities Army of Shenjing and Xiong Kuohai were facing liquidation. Qu Ling risked his life to help me. The Jinyiwei was chasing me, and Xiangzhou was invaded..."

"It was reasonable for me to be depressed at that time. There was no problem."

Guan Miaoshan said, "You braved the heavy snow to go north to Korqin, and in the mountains After the customs bombarded Nurhaci, Wanyan Daichan was released. "

"When Xiaozhuang came back, she told me that you were not in a good state."

Zhou Yuan stared and said, "What's wrong?"

Guan Miaoshan was silent for a long time before she said softly, "You attributed the grievances between you and Wanyan Daichan to yourself."

"You even attributed the mistakes in the assassination case to yourself."

"Everything in this world, all the mistakes, you attributed to yourself."

"Zhou Yuan, do you remember that I betrayed you at the beginning? , you think you didn't do well enough, didn't see the essence of the relationship between the monarch and his subjects, and made ideological mistakes. "

"Dai Chan's tragedy, you also think you didn't do well, otherwise there would be a possibility of peace talks."

"Wen Tieli was defeated in Ludu, tens of thousands of elite troops were wiped out, you also think you didn't do well, because you think you shouldn't be angry with your own emotions and national interests, you think you can get a chance to go to war if you work hard."

Zhou Yuan was shocked, he did think so at a certain moment.

Guan Miaoshan continued: "So after Fenglangjuxu, you planned to hold everything in your own hands, come back and confront me, and ask for military power."

"Let Huang Taiji go, and the world will abuse you."

"Have you ever regretted killing Yang Guozhong?"

"The naval battle in the south was so beautiful, but you always say that you don't have enough experience, made many mistakes, and caused many people to die."

"This time in the Northern Expedition, you defeated the foreign pirates from the north. It was such a great victory, but you are still reflecting on yourself, feeling that you have made many mistakes and blaming yourself for it."

Guan Miaoshan pressed Zhou Yuan's shoulders and shouted: "What do you think of yourself! How much pressure do you want to put on yourself for no reason!"

"Sacrifice is part of war. The twists and turns of the situation come from the complexity of the times. You are not an omniscient and omnipotent person, and you can never be perfect."

"But you always demand perfection from yourself, and therefore pay countless self-blame and guilt."

"You The emotions are constantly being consumed under your demand for your harsh personality. Trending: "Do you want to attribute all the faults to yourself?" "Do you know, your achievements have long been brilliant, and your British names are all overwhelmed." "You are so great, but you are still asking yourself more harshly." She sighed and shook her head and laughed: "With your achievements, no one dares to say you. "Even if you are arrogant and even conspiring the dynasty, everyone will think that this is what you deserve." "This is history!" Zhou Yuan was silent. He understood it now.

He also found out the reason.

It was essentially an information asymmetry, and essentially a problem of self-identity recognition.

He thought he was a time traveler, so he was always superior to others. This superiority was due to the shaping of the soul by civilization.

He thought he knew the direction of history, and standing on the shoulders of the giants of civilization, he should do everything well.

OthersIf a person cannot do well, it is the limitation of the times. If he cannot do well, it means he is incompetent, careless, irresponsible, etc.

Because of this preconceived concept, he always restrains and judges himself with the most stringent requirements.

But in fact, when you come to this world, you are a person of this era.

You should integrate into it, just like the great people in history, with privileges, money, women, prestige, and everything.

In this way, you will not appear to be different.

But Zhou Yuan can't do it.

He looked at Guan Miaoshan and said softly, "Big sister, I don't have to be so harsh on myself."

"I have seen many great people, and they are more demanding of themselves than I am."

"I was influenced by them, so I always felt humble and felt that I was not doing well enough."

"But I have figured it out now."

"I am who I am. I don't need to compare my greatness and nobility with them. I just need to do what I should do."

"I don't feel guilty about Wang Xiong, Hong Bo, Luo Kun, and many brothers who sacrificed their lives. I have let it go."

"As for Jianjia Ningyue and the others, I don't feel sorry for them. If I weren't there, they would have a worse life."

He stood up and chuckled, "I have let it go. I really shouldn't be too harsh. After all, I can't demand this time and place by the standards of the era I am familiar with. I'm engraved with you."

Guan Miaoshan said: "I don't understand, but at least I feel that you are slowly healing yourself, although it's just the beginning and you are far from healed."

"Relax a little, junior brother, treat yourself as a human, don't treat yourself as a machine."

"People have flaws, seven emotions and six desires, greed, and control. Machines are different. They can only be a tool that serves everyone."

"Just like when I lost Guan Miaoshan, I only knew Empress Zhaojing."

"I hope you don't lose Zhou Yuan and only know King Wei."

Zhou Yuan said: "I understand."

Guan Miaoshan handed him a letter and whispered: "I received it last night. I didn't want to give it to you..."

"But I can't make the final decision on this matter. I still have to give it to you in the end."

Zhou Yuan was full of doubts. He took the letter and took a closer look. His face changed immediately.

"The situation is critical! It's urgent! The Western Regions branch of the Inner Court has been completely infiltrated! Everyone has fallen into the temple!"

"We don't know whether we are alive or dead, and we are in danger. Please ask the court for support! Please ask the head of the department for support!"

Guan Miaoshan said: "It was sent urgently from 800 miles away. Zhuang Xuansu doesn't know the news yet. Second Senior Sister is in danger."

Zhou Yuan felt that his heart was clenched by a big hand, almost suppressing him to the point of being unable to breathe.

The palpitations in the past few days now know the reason.

Thinking of the past scenes and the curious eyes of the second senior sister, his heart beat violently.

"I will leave immediately! Go to the Western Regions!"

"I must rescue the second senior sister!"